Jessy Randall

A Jerk Like You

You wake me up to tell me you’re tired
And then you fall right back to sleep
You snore louder than my lousy heater
You drink, you smoke, and you’re cheap

You’re a pain in my ass
always asking for water
when I get you a glass
you want it hotter or colder

I’m a strong woman but I’m weak for a jerk like you

When I come home the dishes are dirty
You’ve rented a movie I don’t want to see
“Don’t watch it if you don’t like it”
But it’s my god damn TV!

You’re a pain in my ass
always asking for water
when I get you a glass
you want it hotter or colder

I’m a strong woman but I’m weak for a jerk like you

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Poem's Score: -3.0

Jessy Randall wrote "A Jerk Like You," a fake country song, in response to her friend Suzie's fake country song. Jessy's website is http://personalwebs.coloradocollege.edu/~jrandall/.

JULY GENIUS

For July 2013, Everyday Genius is pleased to present poems that were rated below 0.4 on the "Poetry Assessor"—a tool that "is designed to determine whether a poem has the characteristics of a professional poem, or, alternatively, an amateur poem.

We publish the poems here, with their scores, not to confirm the Assessor's judgment, but to allow human readers to decide for themselves.