Ricky Garni

from TELE-FRICASSEE
An episodic roux brought to you by The Honeymooners, Mr. Lucky, Hazel, Meet Mr. McNutley, Oh! Susanna, Our Miss Brooks, The Twilight Zone, Leave It To Beaver, Astro Boy, The Real McCoys, Make Room For Daddy, Outer Limits, Father Knows Best, Mr. Ed, Ben Casey, My Mother the Car, The Addams Family, Lost in Space, Honey West, The Mod Squad, My Favorite Martian, Green Hornet, Batman, Family Affair, Candid Camera, Mr. Terrific, The Wild Wild West, Diff’rent Strokes, The Rifleman, The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis, The Time Tunnel, The Bionic Woman, Love American Style, That Girl, Chico and The Man, The Girl from U.N.C.L.E., The Flying Nun, Get Smart, Fantasy Island, Gidget, Have Gun Will Travel, Green Acres, Alfred Hitchcock Presents, Petticoat Junction, The Man from U.N.C.L.E., Sea Hunt, Colombo, Then Came Bronson, The Living Doll, Nip/Tuck

#5: I WOULD LIKE TO CHANGE THIS MONSTER
I would like to change this botanical garden into a playground
one that would not disturb the slumbering giant into wakefulness
like the man who wants to commit suicide because he can’t find
his wife and he doesn’t know that she’s already dead
“But what about,” you ask, “the cryogenic machine used by the sphinx monster?”
••

#7: WHILE READING THAT AWFUL NUCLEAR EXPLOSION
While reading about a swan named Princess Lollipop
I stole a dog named Smiley that never smiled
scarcely noticing that the man who claims to be my father is:
1) running for president and 2) not my father
it’s my fault: I love to read, and I hardly stop to notice things since
that awful nuclear explosion.
••

#33: SNEAKING LOUISE
Sneaking a sip of Mama Garcia’s bean sauce
its magic makes me want to give Louise a kiss
in my ice cream store, fabulously successful magically so
which surprises no one but irritates Eddy and Lumpy
Still: I do not fear the jealousy of Eddy, of Lumpy,
one touch of my antennae, the tiniest touch
and poof
Come to me Louise
••

#38: MY WIFE WITH VIOLENT THOUGHTS
My wife will never understand me
or my matador financé, Antonio
I comb and grease my hair
I coo at the parrot, which I hide
before I write love letters aloud
and leave them in cookbooks
for her, or should I say, them
did I mention also that I dream
about a certain pin up girl and
Mary Ellen Rogers, who cha-chas tomorrow
my wife will never understand
them but still I love her she utilizes
the great powers of the universe
the secret powers of the universe
the gentle soul
with violent thoughts

Ricky Garni is a graphic designer who moved from 105 Fidelity Street Apt B-17 to 105 Fidelity Street Apt B-35 and is still suffering a little from culture shock: "The areas seems the same at first, but there are nuances in the languages that differ in subtle ways, and you have to be careful what you say, especially with the elders of the village in this region." Mr. Garni sighs. "I don't think I will never get used to slurping my soup or the way they treat animals over her. Sometimes I miss the my old life…"